Light Friends and Dark Friends

I've always known this, but never chose to truly acknowledge it. I knew the moment I heard about the first club I joined at Mizzou that this was going to be a different experience than I had ever been exposed to before - with a different set of people that I shouldn't view as being that different. Over the past couple years at Mizzou, I have developed two sets of friends: my Asian friends and my white friends. I don't mean to make a racist segregation connotation out of this, but this is just how my social groups ended up developing.

First, I joined a sorority that is primarily comprised of the Caucasian population. Needless to say, the Mizzou population is overwhelmingly Caucasian anyway, so my specific sorority was no different. I developed deep friendships with these girls and mutual guy friends that I still have today. I live with seven of these girls off campus now, a few of them have visited me at home in Kansas City, and I have always come to them first with any good or bad occasion that happens to me on a day to day basis. We go out together, we go to games together, we work out together and goof off together. They are my best friends here and I could not imagine college without them.

Then, I joined ACF, the Asian Christian Fellowship. This was my first Asian club that opened doors to two other minority clubs in which I have become quite active. Like the J-school mafia, I feel like Mizzou has an Asian mafia of its own. If you are an Asian-American on campus, you are probably involved in at least two of the Asian organizations and you must know pretty much everyone in each group. That's how we all got to know each other. If you join one club, you make friends with the kids there, who invite you to a meeting of another group, you make friends with the kids there, and are influenced to join them all. I love this because this is one example of how my Asian friends express their care for you. They are my family at Mizzou. They keep me accountable on my classwork, provide countless activities that promote community service and cultural awareness - but most of all they are my spiritual and emotional backbone.

It hit me this week that I rarely merge the groups, if at all. I've introduced my roommates to a few Asian friends, I've had some Asian friends over while my white friends were hanging out, but we all have not truly spent much time together. My birthday party just two days before the first day of school was the first time that both groups were in the same room together for an extended period of time - and the groups were still segregated. I don't think that my friends did this on purpose or for racist reasons, but because we all naturally drift toward the people we know best when put in a large group setting.

Not quite racism, but close enough

One night this week, I experienced the closest relation to racism during my time at Mizzou. Now before I proceed with this story, I want to remind to reiterate the purpose of this blog, based on a previous blog post: "...to express my views on being a Filipino-American because you can only base someone's success on an individual basis... This is my method of expression." 


I live in an apartment complex just a few miles off campus and all of its limited parking spots are routinely filled on Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights, due to the most popular social activities for the college age group - parties. As a legal drinker, I had celebrated the induction of one of my fellow roommates into this esteemed age bracket on Wednesday night, so I was not planning on attending any of these parties the next night. One of my friends, whom I've gotten to know quite well through an Asian organization on campus and is Chinese-American, called me because she was at one of the house parties nearby. Needless to say, I was convinced to throw on some jeans and stop by her friend's house to meet some new faces for a short while. There we went, two olive-tan-skinned girls with long, straight black hair and similar outfits, walking down the block to the home of a friend of a friend - whose house was packed with several other Mizzou students. It never crossed my mind that they were all white and my friend and I were both Asian-American, because these odds are not unusual. 


The moment we were in sight of the dozens of guys standing on the porch leading to the front door, I could sense the judgement. It sounds dramatic, I know, but I didn't even want to make eye contact because I felt like I knew what their eyes were doing already. They looked us, up and down, smirks on their faces, making under-the-breath comments that gave me bad vibes. We were barely given enough room to squeeze by the crowd of them to get inside the house. As we walked by, I heard a couple of them snicker to each other, "Damn Asians..." 


I was speechless. 


My actions probably contribute to the Asian/Asian-American stereotypes present in the United States. I did nothing. I didn't even acknowledge the comment to my fellow Asian friend. I just let it go, as if it didn't happen, and those guys will never know how they offended me and how wrong their actions were. We learned in Cross Cultural Journalism that Asians/Asian-Americans "are invisible to themselves and invisible to the media," according to Dr. Perry, because we rarely speak up and are rarely seen in our media. I contributed to that generalization, a generalization that I've hated ever since Dr. Perry mentioned that in class. 

FASA's 2nd Annual Barrio Fiesta = comical success

"It'll all be OK if we just have fun with it." This was my rationale behind every mistake and wrong move made at our sweaty practices during the limited time before the cultural night hosted by Mizzou's Filipino-American Student Association, Barrio Fiesta. Various performances ranged from cultural dances and modern hip-hop dances to singing, trivia and a professional yo-yo artist. I volunteered as one of the modern tinikling performers, which I was completely comfortable with until the big night. Tinikling is traditional dance of the Philippines that mimics the tinikling bird as it hops between bamboo branches in the native forests. Filipinos dress in colorful attire, often in pairs, and dance between bamboo sticks as they open and close in a rhythmic beat. Our modern interpretation kept the same beat, but used a hip-hop song to switch things up... it all worked out well, except that the beat seemed to be a tad too fast for me on the night of the performance. I completely messed it up, while my partner continued on with little struggle. Despite the embarrassment, we were all laughing the entire time - Jordan, I and the crowd. They understood what we were attempting to do, and in the end, they enjoyed the entertainment factor of my fumbles. That's something that my mom told me after the performance: it's a typical characteristic of Filipinos to embrace the efforts of others, even if the execution of the task was sub-par. Thanks mom. =)

Barrio Fiesta was held in Stotler Lounge of Memorial Union this year, a great venue that attracted a lot of random traffic into the window-enclosed room. We had more than 75 attendees, a number that shocked and intimidated me as a performer, but softened my heart as a member of FASA. I remember scanning the room and thinking that, for every Asian face I recognized, there was at least one other ethnically different face mixed into the crowd. This night was all about sharing our culture as Filipino-Americans and celebrating it, so I truly believe that those who attended were able to walk away with a snippet of Filipino understanding.

Cross Cultural and Principles of American Journalism are out to get me!

In the process of completing my latest Convergence Reporting 4804 project, I felt like I was going through a live, in-the-action test over concepts covered in previous MU pre-journalism courses.

My reporting partner and I tackled the Boonville, Mo., controversy over the construction of the new Kemper Village Homes subsidized housing development. The opposing sides discovered mainly covered the residents versus the city government, however a last-minute trip to Boonville brought the rift between higher and lower class citizens to my attention. I visited the town on Wednesday evening in attempt to interview low-income citizens or residents of the city's current subsidized housing developments to see if they were supportive of the Kemper Village Homes. Luckily, the handful of sources I found were extremely helpful and very open in sharing their opinions, but I discovered that they almost took the opposition to the Kemper homes as a personal strike against them. When I explained why the over 500 residents signed a petition to prevent the Homes construction, they typically responded by questioning why anyone would want to prevent low-income families from finding a home. One resident emphasized, "I don't see the harm in it." Quickly, I found myself repeating the lessons of my Cross Cultural Professor Perry as I interaction with the residents of the current subsidized housing developments. I spoke more casually and didn't try to make my project seem too important. I even took off a frilly scarf I had worn all day to make my dress more plain so that the sources could focus more on my questions than anything.

Another source we spoke with earlier in the week was the president of the Boonslick Area Landlords Association who frequently challenged the questions we posed to him. Jim Edwards seemed like a very down-to-earth, wholesome man who was simply trying to ensure that the citizens of Boonville were not being suckered into a new housing development that was unneeded. When he got heated, however, his demeanor became somewhat accusatory and judgmental on Boonville City Council. We would ask him simple questions for clarification and reaction like, "So what should the Council do next," "How did you feel about that," or "Why would the Council do that." Jim's generic response: "Well, what do you think?" We knew, based on the ethical principles presented in the Principles of American Journalism course we'd both taken, that including our personal views on a matter when accomplishing a story would be inserting the journalists into the story. Anything we say may influence what the sources say and how they react. Jim's demeanor made the interview a little awkward for us at times, however we were able to acquire all our needed information and made the interview a bit longer than most so that he would be able to get all of his frustration out - and get to the points we needed from him.

The Hate Wall - Breaking down discrimination and building up respect

Mizzou's MCI committee added another level to their annual Hate Wall event on Tuesday, Sept. 28. Traditionally, the MCI would set up a wooden wall in Speaker's Circle on which students could write discriminatory phrases. This would put such hateful words on a more permanent, blatant canvas in demonstration that these words are hurtful to the MU student body.

Starting last year, the Hate Wall was moved indoors and made into a discussion forum, more-so than a display. Representatives from university diversity organizations are invited to write the same phrases or terminology on cardboard boxes that would be stacked into a wall. At the end of the forum, after all representatives have shared and explained the terms, the wall is broken/destroyed - symbolizing the breaking down of stereotypes by this event.

I attended the event last year and really enjoyed the positive manner that all participants seemed to have during the event. Attending this year's event, there was more of a sense of frustration and anger, which I was unsure how to approach or comment over. Each representative stood in front of the crowd with the hateful bricks acting as a background to his or her 'presentation.' It was as if the negative verbiage on the 'wall' behind them were emphasizing the sadness and disappointment in their explanations. Other comments made even made the sharing section of the event seem like a mother's disciplinary lecture, shaking her finger at us all. "Just don't say that. Why would you even think of saying stuff like that?"

What pulled this event out of the negativity was the added small group resolution discussions. The MCI stressed that educating everyone about what is OK and not OK to say is one step, however discussing what can be done to resolve these issues is what is going to make a difference.

I stand firm in my belief that racism, discrimination and stereotypes are inevitable in society and it is impossible to eliminate these from human psyche. It is nearly ridiculous to find a solution to an unsolvable problem, but reducing negative and unjust beliefs and actions is possible through education. That is the one lesson I could take home from the Hate Wall event - that nothing will change unless we lead by example and help communicate our cultures, history and lifestyles to everyone.