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Sunday, November 28, 2010

First-time Gambler

On Thanksgiving night, my parents and I strutted ourselves over to the AmeriStar Casino in Kansas City so that I could try a hand at gambling. Unexpectedly, I got nervous. My palms started sweating, my jacket seemed to constrict my body, I began second-guessing my outfit choice wondering if it looked 'big girl' enough to blatantly back up my driver's license evidence that I, in fact, am 21. The moment we approached the guard who separated us from the shiny, beeping slot machines, he carded me. I expected it entirely, and came prepared, but once I stepped into the big kid land of lost money, I didn't feel like I stuck out that much. I would have bet that my rookie stench would give me away, but my ethnicity actually subsided its effects. Everywhere I turned, there was a 2:1 ratio of Asians to clearly native Missourians. Sure, everyone was at least 10 years my elder, but my dark complexion and black hair kept me from seeming too out of place. Finally, a situation in which my ethnicity worked in my advantage. Why did I want to blend in so much? Well, I always considered casinos a place where we are essentially voluntary victims of theft. The slot machines, although playfully deceiving, take your money as well as the card tables. If anyone could sense my apprehension as a newby, I felt that I would leave the sparkling land of gold and flashing lights as an even more broke college student. I do not think my looks saved me from my imminent demise, but I do believe they softened the blow. With my head held high, walking past several similar-looking faces, I left with a hefty 15 cents in my pocket.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Christmas Spirit, Ice Cream - and Boxing?

Last year during the holiday season, my mother told me, "Home is where our family is." This was after the decision my parents made to take a vacation to New York for Christmas and New Year's Eve. I was quite reluctant, at first, to be away from home during this time - but like I said, this was only at first. The experience was incredible and the memories I made with my family were ones I will always look back on in delight.

We stood, miniscule little ants to the Rockafeller Plaza Christmas tree, together in an atmosphere that only one of us had ever experienced before. There were hundreds of nameless faces, the majority of them I'm sure could not call themselves native New Yorkers like us, a simple hot chocolate was far overpriced and the air was BIT-TER - but I felt home at that moment, mesmerized by the Christmas spirit with the two people whom I owe everything to. My mom was right, I felt at home - home was where we were, together, regardless of our physical location.

Right now (10:35 p.m. on Friday, Nov. 19, 2010) I am watching the recorded boxing match of Manny Pacquiao vs. Antonio Margarito. Besides the fact that I am, indeed, sitting at home on my couch with my parents as we grimace and yell at the TV screen, the atmosphere or TV program are not what make me feel  'home-y'. The strings of questions on my well-being; comments on my future; making it ABSOLUTELY clear that I am well-fed; seeing my mom resting her head on my dad's shoulder as he uses his other arm to gesture at every uppercut shot; eating my dad's favorite pistachio ice cream - these are the components of a situation that make me feel inherently comfortable and create my home at heart.

In light of the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, let's just say I am incredibly thankful for my family. Their unrelenting concern for me oftentimes seem to burden me, but they show their love for me. Give thanks to them and to He who gives us all the strength to go on.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Awkward Christian Fellowship (ACF's unofficial title)

On a day to day basis, it is quite difficult - and most of the time uncomfortable - for most of us to bring up religion in a casual conversation. Even with friends and family members, the topic of faith may be a taboo idea, regardless of the level of faith for either individual. One person may be a practicing Catholic from birth, speaking with her best friend who happens to be atheist and religion may not come up - but that's the same case for a church goer and a baby Christian, even. Discussing our religious beliefs is tough, no matter the circumstance. But imagine if you are an international student who wants to learn more about this God guy, but you're surrounded by people whom you are having difficulty relating to, paired with your language barrier. That's where ACF comes into play, the Asian Christian Fellowship.

ACF's goal is to provide a loving, outreaching community to Asians and Asian-Americans on campus, introducing God and Christianity to them. This Bible study group gives all students an opportunity to learn more about Christianity and really dive into the word, while giving them a sense of familiarity. For international Asians, the Asian culture is an automatic connection, so maybe, their sense of comfort with Christianity will come easier.

What makes us awkward is somewhat unbeknown to any of us. Maybe, it's because many of us have grown up with awkward Asian social skills - hesitant to make chime in and make a comment, and when we end up making a comment, it's not that funny or witty, but all the while you have to laugh at the effort. Or, it could be that we've wholeheartedly embraced our awkwardness and use it as a mechanism to reel in others into our organization. It's even difficult for me to call it an organization... because it's best labeled a family.

Essentially, ACF has blessed me with a family away from home, full of friends that have become my backbone throughout college. I encourage anyone, especially if you are an Asian/Asian-American looking for involvement and friendship, to give ACF a shot.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Two Strikes

In Cross Cultural Journalism last year, we learned that female minorities have two strikes against them in American society. Our life chances for success are knocked down as the 'weaker' gender, then again for being in a minority group. It's a sad understanding, but as I stated, it is an understanding. As an Asian-American woman, I cannot be bogged down by the idea of being so behind in society's eyes because that will allow me to settle with a second-best mentality (or would it be third-best if we already have two strikes?).  

Moreso this semester than any other time, I have been putting myself into situations where I feel like I have had to work a little harder due to my gender, race or both. Every time I make a contact for a story in Convergence Reporting, conduct an interview, take photographs, or whatever, I have often times had to present myself in a more professional or assertive manner to ensure the source that I am one to be taken seriously. For example, I was paired with a male classmate for one of my most recent team stories and we had to meet with and interview a few contacts from Missouri county jails. I noticed that the male half of the team was receiving much more eye contact and was generally spoken to more by the sources. Even when I asked a question, the male source would glance down to think of his answer and direct his response to my partner, only glancing at me. We got all information we needed, so I wouldn't call this experience unsuccessful, but we left with mixed perceptions of the source.